Don’t Tell Me What To Wear Toya

Toya Delazy/LEGit

I have no beef with Ray Charles granddaughter or anything of that nature.

She's young and successful and from what I see from my flat screen, she's doing what she loves.

If you've lost mother at a young age, I immediately love and want to some how impact your life positively.

It does not matter whether you were raised by a strict Zulu family that did everything within their means to give you a bright future or you spent most of your life moving from one orphanage to another the void that was created by your mothers absence is mutual.

Toya is a beautiful and gifted individual and from what I have gathered she didn't use her famous family name to infiltrate the music industry.

Her uniqueness is talking for her and opening the right doors.

Recently she was announced as the new brand ambassador for LEGit. And I was so disappointed with her winter range. Dark, antique & Texas inspired clothes were hanging on the rack.

I don't want to compare her with the past ambassadors as they have different tastes hayi, Ndiphoxake kodwa its not what I expected.

And it has crossed my mind that maybe I'm not their target market even though I enjoy shopping at LEGit.

LEGit should consider having two ambassadors to cater for their growing clientèle or mix the celeb's style with theirs though that would misrepresent the 'trendsetter'.

Anyway I will visit the shop again to see if 'I have not spoken' to soon.


Facts About Toya Delazy

• She was born Latoya Buthelezi
• She is the granddaughter of Chief Mangosuthu Buthelezi the Inkatha Freedom leader and the great-grand daughter of Princess Magogo
• She released her  first album Due Drop, April 2012.
• She studied Jazz Piano.

Oh the Chief was mistaken for the late singer Ray Charles at Margaret Thatcher's funeral.

So I'm Too Young For God?

This is what I’m told whenever I tell people I’m a born again , blood washed believer.

Haibo, you need to live a little, do what people your age are doing. You need to be saved from  something and wena you’re still young. So they say.

And my question is does Satan ask people their age before leading them astray? Is he interested in your innocence?  NO, his mandate is to do the exact opposite of what God does.I was so surprised to learn that like God he has his trinity. What a copycat.

In some people’s eyes I’d be a better Christian when I have three children with different fathers that would collectively make R1000 a month of social grant- A testimony that the world has tested me.

To them it’s unacceptable for me to be saved and my peers often ask if I’m allowed to date or swear. I guess that’s what keeping them in the world.

Those who want to dim my light, ask me how long have I been saved and my answer never changes- second of September 2006 and they’ll tell me it’s still early.

It’s like people fear this big monstrous failure that’s waiting to devour anyone who calls themselves the obedient children of God.

We are smarter than animals, we have a better ability to see things that could harm us from a distance and  discern from good and  evil.

Salvation is not new,  there are so many young people who have blamelessly  walked this path and kept the faith and we are strengthened daily by the failure of some who also wanted to live this pure life till the end but the ever deceiving Satan trapped them.

May His Soul Rest in Peace?

Rest in Peace seems to be the most sensible thing to say when you hear the devastating news of someone’s passing.

Some people even go as far as saying “they are in a better place now and they will be our angels or ancestors.”

The truth is not everyone that dies goes to heaven. You cannot live your life anyhow and expect to wake up next to gospel greats. Askies, this time around you can’t have your bread buttered both sides. It does not work like that.

Izulu liyasetyenzelwa, alingenwa mahala. You work your way up to heaven (figuratively). It just does not happen, it’s like an art piece, you take time crafting it and make it presentable to the buyer because it’s not yours and one day you’ll hand it over to someone, who has invested in your art and expects to see a good product at the end.

As much as we are the YOLO(you only live once) generation and we don’t want to think about tomorrow or the future. We want to think about now and today Life does not end here and we need to prepare now for eternal life. It’s inevitable but at the same time you chose now what you want.

We are all God’s children and he has given each one of us a chance to repent and live a life worthy of heaven and the hour of grace is now.

When you die without a healthy relationship with God, you’ll go straight to hell. Injalo nje!

I know people don’t want to insult the dead and say horrible things about them but we should not confuse the living.

Mazi enethole.

The Crooked Generation

These days we have become proud of things we should be ashamed off.

You’d find school children doing shameful things in their school uniforms during school hours. Uqhweshe njani?

Teenagers strolling with their boyfriends and not respecting old people that is still taboo to black communities.

Young girls walking proudly with their ballooned stomachs and showing off their ‘premature’ babies(because their pelvises were not mature enough to hold babies)

Young girls chatting to friends about how good the weekend was and how they drank to death and not remembering how they left the club.

One time I had to hold my mouth and act like I didn’t hear a disturbing conversation between friends. "when are you having a baby or are you infertile? The girl could not answer and I so wanted to say something but I reminded myself its NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

The following year I saw that girl with a bloated tummy and wished I had said something to her friend.

In the early 2000's there was an insurance catalogue on Drum magazine. It was a mind map of an ultrasound scan of a baby and it pointed at different body parts and said something like this: these feet will one day need proper shoes and these eyes will need spectacles and the tiny hands expensive gadgets.

Young people seem like they don't consider this when 'trying' for a baby.

You'd think their poor living conditions at home would propel them to want better things in life but instead they don't see beyond their situations and continue to increase the natality rate.

I cannot tell you how to live your life but you know you cannot afford KFC or spoil yourself with your hard earned cash but you go on and bring an innocent baby to a life of poverty. Fori ntoni?

Sometimes I think we are not exposed to successful Kasi poeople who have been there and conquered Kasi temptations or the quick life.

We don't aspire to change the world like the youth of 1976 who staged several riots against apartheid and Bantu education.

"Ikapa sifike linje aluzutshintshwa sithi" does that mean we have to destroy our lives?

I am no body and I don't aim to judge anyone but to bring about change.

I want the black community to stop and ask ourselves where are we going? What are we teaching the next generation?

The mind your business thingy is not part of our culture(the way we do things)

We ought to care for one another!!!

Nota Bene: I'm not your enemy but a caring friend!

Siyabulela!

He is a Blessing

I’m a train user and I’m not ashamed vele it’s not something to be ashamed of even though it’s not the best transport in town.

I bumped into a young vendor at the Cape Town train station and he was wearing his Cape Peninsula University of Technology’s(CPUT) student card.

Normally I would have rolled my eyes and moved on but I could not.

I wanted to know if he’s selling snacks to commuters to make ends or he’s part of South Africa’s growing phenomenon of child headed household.

I developed so much respect for him; I mean selling sweets to people is not fancy at all despite this he seemed determined to make an innocent living.

He’s not waiting for government’s assistant nor blaming the ruling party for neglecting people who really need their help.

He’s an inspiration and I will try to ask him to share his life story with me. It won’t be easy opening up to a stranger but I will assure him it’s for a good use.

I get blessed by ordinary people doing great things to survive. Our country these past days has been full negative things and it’ applaudable to see a youngster rising above his circumstances.

My Tiff With The Caster Semenya Cover!

My heart goes out to this woman. The little we’ve come to know of her has been flooded with bad publicity.

This young woman has endured so much. Who can forget the 2009 World Championship when she won gold in the women's 800 metres? Our beloved country  was so united and we could not wait for her to come back.

No one anticipated the gender testing saga that would soon follow and how her coach apparently lied to protect her.  It all happened at the time we were celebrating her.

I was so disappointed when I saw the Drum cover. Yes, I don’t know the ins and out of choosing a cover story but as a reader I think the cover should stand out and make you want to buy the magazine not to have conflict within you of the decision they have made.

I started liking the magazine in Junior High and I did not want to miss a single issue because it was worth having but I do not know where it lost the plot.

It’s slowly losing its credibility if you remember the magazine was instructed by the Press Ombudsman to apologise  to Bonang Matheba for publishing defamatory comments about her. You would not expect this kind of carelessness from a renowned publication.

I was not going to write this thing if it the Caster story was carried by a Sunday newspaper.

The team didn’t even post a decent picture and they just ran with whatever they could get. Contrary to what the magazine is about.

I’m sure this is gonna come as a shock to most of you as I am an open homophobic. Maybe right now you are saying no wonder I’m defending her, I don’t want to accept that she is “homosexual”, far from the truth my friends.

I just hate how we’ve been portraying this young woman and not giving her the freedom she probably yearns.

Until she tells us what’s going on in her life we should stay out of her business and let her be. And I too want to know what is going on but sinking so low to get the latest Mgosi on her is not Ideal. Let’s report on facts my friends not on hearsay.

I thank you.

Safe Abortion

Is it really safe? Is it safe to end someone’s life that has not even started?

Amazingly our bill of rights says everyone has a right to life but in this regard it does not apply.

Everywhere I go I see these SAFE ABORTION posters. And I do not entirely blame the Dr Mamuyandichaza’s because clearly the business is in demand.


Excuse my wild mind but don’t the abortionists worry about what will happen to the foetus?

It’s unlike going to a dentist and asking for the rotten tooth afterwards to see what has been giving you sleepless nights.

Ending someone’s life should not be quick and easy. "30 minutes pain free" disgusts me.

I know the decision has not been reached easy and a lot of thought has been given to this but still it does not make it right.

How do you even begin thinking of aborting a six month old ‘foetus’? I am neither a doctor nor a medical practitioner but I do know by this time the baby has developed into a human being.

My government has and is discouraging back street abortion as it often endangers the life of the person thinking of aborting. But why are they not arresting back street  'doctors'?

When you engage in an unprotected sex, what do you expect? And turning to shortcuts with everlasting consequences because you do not want to take responsibility of your actions is unbelievable.

I do not question the decision of rape survivors who had to abort because they did not want to relive the ordeal but I would advise them to think twice about the decisions thereafter.

Zintanda, let’s make informed choices about our lives and not live for the moment and remember whatever you do today will catch up with you in the future.’Ayizukushiya le-bus.’

Enkosi.

International Women's Day Message

I once read a story in The Herald about a Zimbabwean girl who was born HIV positive, she was sharing her challenges of living with HIV and you know back in the day, we didn’t have Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission - if ur mama tested HIV + chances were u were gonna be born with the virus.

So this gal attends a Pentecostal church and there u r kinda expected to get married at certain age and she was afraid of what her 'Prospect Husband ' would sae n that pierced my heart so hard n it hasn't healed.

Women are brought up with the mentality of being a better wife, not a better CEO hence the Xhosa sayin ikhaya lentombi lisemzini. We are more than that while I was staying at a Shebeen a woman customer fondled my hips & asked me if I can sing to her disappoint I cant even hit a flat note but she assured me with a body shape like mine I am guaranteed a husband and I ddnt blame her cause some ppl think we go 2 Church to be wed.

Some heathens sae they will only go to kerk when they want a wife. There are so many stories I could tell u about this. All in all women's place is still viewed by the society we live in inferior & women abuse is an everydae thang in SA. We still have a long...

Why I blog

I have been dreading to pen this. I really did not see a reason to justify my 'actions' plus it was kinda late. Setting the record straight and hopefully making some peeps to tolerate me outweighed the reasons I had. You have probably seen on my previous posts that I am very opinionated, inquisitive and self-aware at the same Xesha.

I enjoy making known my not always correct views on the world we live in. I am not afraid to flaunt my 'naivity' because it depicts the kind of person that I am. Not perfect but likes talking non-stop and impacting my knowledge to those who care to listen and hopefully get a reaction   too. 

I have always wanted to have a platform where I just vent whatever and not look over my shoulder to see who is listening kwaye I was never a crowd pleaser shem.

The fear of close friends, frenemies and foes reading what I have posted freaked me out a bit but it sprout to mind that I am here on this earth to do me and my journey is different from theirs.

I have decided to list the schools have I attended so yall know I don't speak 'commercial english' lol. No I just wanted to brag.

1.Lunga in Mdantsane(Haala East Londoners lol).

2. Homba  in D Section in Khayelitsha

3. Sivile in Ikhwezi Park Khayelitsha

4. Intshinga in Gugulethu next to Mzolis lol

5. Qolora by Sea in Centane (1 day I will share my experiences of staying in a village for 4 years)

6. Byletts Combined School near East London.

7. Luhlaza High.

I will post about things that should be left unsaid. You will not always agree with what's on my mind. I think I’m thought provoking though peeps are quick to say I’m motivational so brace yourself tiger kwaaaks .

Banele - My gettin there

Dressed in a black skirt and a white shirt, hair nicely combed.  Anele Banele an Information Technology graduate Rushes down the stairs of Metro rail train station, trying to board an 8 am train to Cape Town.

Banele is a Born-again Christian from the Eastern Cape, She came here to pursue her dreams of owning an IT company.

Time and again she looks at her silver and gold watch “I am so late, I should be in town already.”

“Anele” will be meeting a group of friends for a Human Rights Day party that she and her friends are organising. The party is specially made for children with disabilities. “I was raised by a single mother and she literally struggled to raise us.”

She calmly picks her cerise pink cell phone to tell her friends that she is running late. Anele tells me what makes her a patriot.  “All my life I wanted to do something that will put a smile on someone’s face, and living in South Africa that is not so hard because my government can provide me with all that I need.”

“With a planed and well structured idea, I can persuade any relevant government official to back my plan, if have attended government organised seminars and we are told not be afraid to ask them for assistance as they are here to serve us.

We arrive in Cape Town and Anele hurries to Gardens where her friends are waiting for her. Three girls all wearing black and white greets and hug her. The other one starts to point to brown branch chair under a tree suggesting we should all take a sit.

While brainstorming, a tall and dark guy with a Teko Modise cut interrupts and apologise for being late. He quickly opens his bag and takes a black laptop, “I hve set a meeting with the events manager and I think we should all go” he said

For few seconds the girls did not say a word and it was crystal clear that they did not expect the meeting to be over so soon. Anele saves them time and said “I thought this meeting was about us helping the kids not spending money.”

After hours  and hours of disagreements the group finally agreed on something and said the theme of the party will be “proudly south African”.

MEN ENJOY SEX MORE THAN WOMEN

My former Life Orientation teacher used to say “It does not matter how poor people are, they will always have sex” and that could be proven by the number of children they have.

In most countries men are seen as the head of the family. Whatever the men wants he gets. A woman’s voice or opinion does not matter and a woman’s role is to satisfy her husband.

Men were created to enjoy sex more than women. Their testosterone levels are higher than women’s. It takes twenty minutes for a woman to be on and a few minutes for a man.

To men sex is meaningless, there is nothing much attached to it and they would not mind doing it as often as they could.

Men and women are different. Women like feeling loved and special. To a woman sex is important and it’s the next step in a relationship. There is a lot involved, it’s not just about exchanging body fluids. It’s about love and connection. Hence women love foreplay and men struggle to understand why women love foreplay.

 Some men think sex is just an exercise and they need to have it regularly. Most men would have it with any good looking woman that comes their way, anywhere. When men see voluptuous woman or woman showing a cleavage, they get sexually excited and start fantasizing about seeing that woman naked.

You tend to get men as old as one’s grandfather, promiscuous towards young girls and providing them with their financial needs so that they could get sex in return.

Women are moody and like being in control of every situation and they are easily turned off by a men that want to take control and satisfy his sexual needs.

Men like talking about sex with their friends.  “Guys sexualize everything.  Like, if I was rich and famous as Usher, I would sleep with any girl I want.” (Mahomba ,2012)

To most men sex seems like a hobby until something else comes along. Its even proven that most men cannot be satisfied by having sex with one woman for the rest of their lives without cheating.

Amazing kitty

Naquita Hendricks is a19 year old Journalism student at the Cape University of Technology in the Bellville Campus.

Kitty as friends call her has a bubbly personality. Talks likes there is no tomorrow especially when the topic discussed involves politics.

She comes from a political minded family. Her mother is a former politician and has worked for the ANC,ID and DA. She even ran as Ward counselor  for  Muizenburg’s ward 64 and came second while working for the then  ID.

Her  family involvement in politics has not always been good. In 1996 she was shot at in Khayelitsha (where i live). Fezile the guy that saved her was stabbed  a week after  because he was seen as a traitor by the black community. That incident made her family to appreciate each other more.

Kitty loves being the centre of attention. She started modeling at the age of 2 years but stopped at the age of 13 after her father died. She lost her passion because her dad was her motivator.

During her modeling years  she won a number of beauty pageants and her older sister was her role model  as she also modeled.  

Her enthusiasm  made her  a video girl at the tender age of six. She was the lead girl on a music video of the famous Rockets which was filmed at  st.James beach.

She is also a sport  fanatic. She played hockey for the Western Province and she  plays as a goalie for the Shacks at the Pro Series Indoor Hockey.

Kitty  knows the meaning of independency as she works part time, at the Rascals pub in keniworth. Working in a pub has not changed her beliefs and continues to be a strong believer in Catholism.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT FOR JOURNALISTS TO READ AND BEING A JOURNALIST SHOULD YOU READ THEORY?

It is very important for a journalist to read because reading is educational. Reading can make a journalist an expert in a certain topic as reading informs an individual. Reading opens ones mind to different things.

It is  good for a journalist to be university-qualified. Many jobs in communications, particularly government organizations require a tertiary qualification as a prerequisite though a number of people can get a job with a media organization.

Studying journalism helps in getting a solid foundation in the fundamental skills of the trade. Journos get access to specialized, upper-level journalism courses. For example if a journo wants to be a sportswriter or a film critic, will attend a journalism school that offers a specialized classes in theses areas. Most offer training in the kind of multimedia skills that are in demand. Most like the Cape University of Technology (CPUT) offer internship programs for their students.

Studying journalism gives journos an access to mentors, namely the journalism –faculty, who have worked in the profession and can offer valuable advice. Like CPUT most Universities include faculty who are journalists, giving journos a chance to network with professionals in the field.

Some of the highlites of journalism school are the connection it offers. While learning invaluable skills about what journalism is about and how to craft and report stories, journors will meet lectureres who likely have strong ties in the media world.

Journalist should always read as reading crafts their knowledge. It is part of journalists job to know the langauge that the public undersands as they don’t always deal with literate people.

Journalism is not often cosidered as a proffession because there is quite a number of journalists who never went to school and are doing good. Though they don’t really know the theory-side of journalism.

ACT LIKE A LADY- THINK LIKE A MAN

WHAT MEN REALLY THINK ABOUT LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, INTIMACY, AND COMMITMENT BY STEVE HARVEY

Steve Harvey is an international comedian and an actor known for his awesome acting skills especially in the Steve Harvey show.

In this book Steve is telling women how men operate, the things men do and reason why they do them. Steve calls this book a play book of some sort as it guides women on men.

Men are driven by three things: who they are, what they do and how much they make. Everything they do is influenced by these three things and they can not be in a healthy relationship before they have figured them out.

 On the first chapters of the book Steve talks of the ways men are groomed from an early age to be strong and protect the women in their lives. Men have a different DNA than women, they do not show their love like women.

 They believe in professing, providing and protecting their women. Steve made an example of his childhood. Whenever they went out his father used to call him and tell him to protect his mother and sisters.

Steve emphasizes on the fact that men need support, loyalty and the cookie in order to be committed to a relationship. If any of the three is missing especially the cookie they will go to someone who will give it to them. Steve calls sex a cookie.

He explains why men do what they do basically the mind-set of men. When a man approaches a woman he has a plan whether he wants to sleep with her or have a good relationship with her. They tell from the start of a relationship if a woman is a keeper or a sports fish. A keeper is the marrying type and a sport fish is a ‘plaything’.

He tells why men cheat and why some remain mama’s boy after they have tied the knot or in a serous relationship. He said men respect standards and women should have them as they indicate how they want to be treated.

 Every woman should ask these five questions before things get hotter and hotter. What are your short-term goals, what are your long-term goals, what are your views on relationships, what do you think about me, and what do you feel about me. The answer of what he feels and what he thinks should be different. He advises women to have follow-ups on these questions as they want specifics. It should be a well thought answer not something his been saying to a number of girls.

Women should have a ninety day rule. “Some type of a probationary period to find out more about him.” A man does not get benefits of being in a relationship until those ninety days are over. During  the ninety days a women should check her man out, how does he react  when you tell him you’ve got some problems, how does your man react under  pressure, how does he react to bad news and how does he react when he’s told “no”.

Steve warns women with children of not introducing them early in the relationship as it helps to see if your man likes kids or not. Steve rebukes strong independent and lonely women of mistreating the men who wants to be in a relationship with them.

He advises women on how to get the ring and answer questions women don’t know about men. In the book Steve emphasizes that men are not like women. They are simple creatures, who want to be loved.