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| Intercollegiate Image |
I
think I have this fairy-tale image of what marriage is about and it appalls me
to see people not living it out. The bible in my eyes made this holy matrimonial
easy. Husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands (Ephesians 5:33).
I honestly or naively thought if people were practicing these verses in their
households then they would live happily eve rafter. My reasoning was that women
are affectionate beings, they want to be loved and men want to be respected and
seen as superior or as the head of households. As longs as you respect him, he
will love you forever or so I thought.
I
never imagined people staying in loveless marriages and enduring all sorts of
crap because they are keeping face or staying because of their children.
Divorce
is not an option for me (Khethile khethile-You stick it out!) but hey! How do
you stay in a marriage where your husband cheats and doesn't even make an
effort to be discreet. I'm not saying cheating is okay as long as you don't get
caught but imagine umntu that does as they please nje! And not hiding anything.
Wazi nje that you are just waiting to be infected by diseases.
I
know there are things I won't understand. They are not meant for me to
comprehend hence I don't wreck my mind trying to understand them but what makes
two people who vowed to stay together in sickness and in health. I'm not refering to parasites with the aim of
stealing one's riches. I'm talking about the ones that paid lobola (wadleka)
and professed his undying love in front of his family and friends. What changes
after a year or two? I know in the first two years they were probably still observing
each other and compromising in most things and their different backgrounds can
be a factor ezintweni ezinintsi. But why do people reach that level where they
will just cause pain to each other instead of loving each other as they have
promised to? Umntu enze unothanda as if they are still single.
Like
I said maybe my love for happy endings is hindering me from seeing things the
way they are. Or the believer in me refuses to believe that if people put God
at the centre of their lives there would be dysfunctional marriages.
I
know born-again Christians are among those who file for divorce as the heat in
their marriages seems to be too hot for them to bear but I think the lost spark
can be ignited and a couple that prays together can work through the toughest
storm that want to ravage their lenyalo and be in a functional mtshato.
Disclaimer: These are
just my thoughts. Don't burst my bubble phofu I don't even want to get married.I just love and respect that institution!
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