I'm a girly-girl and being a professing Christian didn't change that. I unashamedly count the years I have walked with Jesus.
Our anniversary is the biggest thing in my life because it's quite a mile stone.
He has always been part of my life and I only realized that in 2006. My eyes were opened. I could then see the big bad world for what it is.
So much has happened in this short space of time. So many things were said both good and bad. I have heard it all.
If I could build a house from all the insults I have received along the way I would legit be staying at a lavish house by the sea somewhere in Amerika mntakadokrwala.
It's common knowledge if u want to go somewhere in life DO NOT pay any attention to naysayers. And this holy walk is no different.
If you thought you being saved meant people were going to roll out a red carpet each time they see you chitha utyiwe. Or you will have this beautiful understanding and connection with people dream on.
You know once you start sharing your faith people tend to have these ideas about your life. Your life is no longer yours to live.
They have a box ready to shove you in. They know how you should carry yourself. Who you should be seen with and how you must miraculously be there for them when they need you.
Your life is generally under a microscope. One wrong move and you have people coming to your face telling you I told you so.
I remember this one child from boarding school testifying and saying if you want "to be like' a celebrity, accept Jesus as your personal savior. And you will see flames.
I guess it's so hard to believe that a person in this day and age can truly surrender their life to Jesus. And dedicate their life to the author and finisher of our faith.
Anyway the reason I wanted to write this post is to share my faith, experiences, my ups and downs . And hopefully strengthen new believers who have just discovered this holy sacred path.
I vividly remember the days counting to the day I got saved. I was this loud, tjatjarag and outspoken child. Certainly not the type you'd imagine getting saved but as the Word says Jesus shows no favoritism.
I didn't know how to pray or read the bible not to mention fasting. Me, I love food shem though I'm a picky eater.
Jesus came at a time I needed Him the most. My soul longed for freedom. I was spiritually bound. I couldn't move. Had to dance to the tune of demons that wanted to claim my life. I was so close to losing my mind.
But Jesus came down and lifted me up from the deep muddy clay... As the song says.
Believe me when I say I was just not the 'right candidate' for salvation. My life was a mess stru.
Even when I finally got saved I had a hard time accepting biblical teachings and practicing them.
I questioned everything. One thing that come to mind now is the Ncandweni Christ Ambassadors song that was popular at the time. I don't remember the title but yayisithi ugqoke njani ngobu yazi isono samadoda sivela ngokubona.
I was a young feminist then. You couldn't tell me anything, I deemed anti women. I love love women and yes #NoHomo. So I just didn't understand why women had to watch the way they dress and behave around the opposite sex. My question was can't men control themselves?!
Why are they gonna make their problems mine heh? Tyhini why am I carrying their cross.
One thing worth mentioning too is when I finally stopped wearing pants. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with wearing pants.
Likewise I had a tight argument as to why women should freely wear their pants. Deuteronomy 22:5 was not gonna tell me otherwise. Like other scriptures I would interpret that passage the way it suit my personal needs.
Attending a church where women uniformly do not wear pants was not gonna change my stance in this too. I'm not that person who gets to a new place and find people dancing and join in. I watch admirably from a distance. In my good, old time when I feel comfortable, I will join in and dance like no one's business.
So It was in 2011 and I was doing my first year in Pentech. I normally prepare my outfits a day before. Nothing changed that day. I had taken out what I was gonna wear in tech, my torn capri jean, yellow woven jersey and black shoes. I was set for the day.
Now the Holy Spirit told me to change my outfit and wear a skirt. I obliged because I could differentiate His voice from my thoughts.
Went to Tech. Had a great time. On my way back because I was using metrorail as a mode of transport. And there believers share the Word of God without any hindrances.
So I got in a carriage and a brother was preaching a powerful, powerful sermon that touched me so much that I ended up speaking in tongues. Something that wasn't new but kuloliwe? Cabanga!
All eyes were on me and I started prophesying and the brother shame was so stunned. He never saw that coming. Neither did I.
From that day onwards I stopped wearing pants. I just knew they were not good for me and what Jesus has put in my heart.
People can be so judgmental and I know for a fact should I have spoken in tongues and prophesied wearing my torn capri jean where you could see my thighs was not gonna end well.
They were gonna make mockery out of the situation but instead they were so alarmed.
I have so many stories to share with you about this journey. Maybe I will one day God-willing write a part two.
But since I'm at it let me share one more story. A recent one.
I have been attending morning devotions. As you already know there's lot of kneeling and praying happening in such gatherings.
I noticed my knees were starting to become darker and I thought even the maid in Manhattan looks so much better than me, of-course Jennifer Lopez is dead gorgeous what was I thinking comparing myself to a pop star lol.
Anyway the Holy Spirit brought it to my attention that I haven't fully given my life to Jesus as I often claim because I still cared about how my knees look like.
I still have parts of me that I'm holding back. I haven't released the need of wanting to be in control of things. In a way I have hindered the Holy Spirit from doing the job God appointed Him to do in my life.
I still have so much to learn and see. I know ten years is nothing to most people but to me it has been life-changing.
I am now a better human being and with the help of the holy spirit I'm constantly improving.
I am not gonna lie to you and say it has been smooth sailing from day one. Some days have been better than others. But what makes it so worth it is King Jesus my savior.
I have grown so much and I thank God for each and everything I went through. He was making sure that He chisels all the rough edges futhi ndingabinjengo-Ephraim, ndibhakeke icala elinye.
I even noticed I write so much better when I'm under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost. Jesus for Lungelwa lol Lungelwa for Jesus.
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