So I have decided to share my spiritual journey with y'all but this is gonna be hard kuba I am a private person ngendalo.
But I do hope it will inspire others to be unashamed of Jesus and start having a healthy relationship with him. For me it is never easy to open up.
I am a private person and I have this protective wall around me and only a selected few are allowed to jump in.
But Christ encourages us to share our faith. So yeah! Here's my path, the journey that made me change my lifestyle for the better.
I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior at the tender age of 17. It was on the 2nd of September 2006 at a Christian boarding school I attended.
I know I am being exposed as the weirdo that I am for remembering the exact date I got saved coz most people don't remember but mine was eventful angekhe ndilibale.
Pastor Mlungwana shared a simple yet a moving sermon. He said we should choose between life and death. I was young and have never experienced much but what he said forced me to look at my life.
Do a quick introspection and thought of what I've been through. And surrendered my life to Jesus that day.
I have always wanted to lift my hand and accept Christ but I never had the courage. So many things weighed me down.
But deep down I knew Jesus was my saving grace and only him can heal me and fill my void, the emptiness that was in my heart. The year before going to boarding school, I got sick. It wasn't asthma that I was suffering from or anything that could be attended to by a medical doctor.
It was a spiritual warfare, a generational curse. Something that was bigger than I and then I knew I had to place my hope in something that can rescue me.
For I was sinking. I'd be watching tv and when I look up on the window close to our telly I'd see different figures moving up and down. Strangely enough they only appeared when I was the only one watching TV.
One time I even thought I was suffering fromstroke cause I couldn't move my right arm as it was stiff and resembled a snake. The dark world was quickly closing on me.
Prior to this I have only heard of such things happening but never took it to heart. I never in my wildest dream thought I was ever gonna experience something like this.
Sleeping at night was a mission and a half. I'd hear noises and often move my bedding to my gran's room coz I couldn't sleep on my own.
The atmosphere in my room to put it mildly wasn't pleasant at all. So much happened but I won't bore u with the gory details.
The point isn't to scare you or drag you to my past. My family strongly believes in traditions. Honouring the dead and doing some rituals every now and then. A typical Xhosa family.
At some point my late mom was igqirha or trained to be one. Andisakhumbuli. I was still a younging when she passed but I know she took off her beads (Intsimbi) before dying.
I don't know what that meant but I am glad she did it. So I got sick and had to be taken to a traditional healer. She performed some rituals and I got better and no longer saw things. But two years later, I had to be taken to a traditional healer again coz things got worse.
To a point where I almost lost my mind. I couldn't walk properly. Hectic stuff happened. The healer consulted us. And I confirmed everything and who was doing this to me and their reason for doing so. All this time I knew who did this to me and I can never tell u how but I knew. I guess it's a gift.
On our way back home I asked my aunt what should I do in order to get well. She said I must believe. I forced myself to believe but I couldn't. My heart failed me.
You know when you are sick and desperate and you want to believe in everything that can heal you. But not me!
I have always kept a journal and I'd write everything down and I remember reading some of the stuff to my teacher. And I kept on saying it's Jesus who saved me.
I didn't know a thing about Jesus that time. He asked where's Jesus from. I didn't know and I just said he's from Greece. He too was an unbeliever.
And tried mocking the situation. Like I said. I come from a traditional family. And for me not to believe in what I was born to was just grace.
To cut my story short when I got introduced to Jesus, I received healing. And no longer felt the void that was left by mom's passing. The dark cloud over my life moved.
I was free from everything. I began to see things differently. God opened my spiritual eyes and I became a spiritual being.
But best believe it hasn't been an easy journey. But I press forward kuba I know it's worth it. And I became an unashamed believer.
My prayer is for God to be gracious towards you. Asuse your unbelief and everything that hinders you from seeing the Way.
UThixo uYise abenani.
AMEN!
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