I Love You But...

I believe, we all have those defining moments, where you really love someone but wish they could just change that one thing about themselves that annoy the hell out of you. It happens to the best of us. I'm pretty sure you too aren't exempt from such.

Sometimes you see something that is so close to perfection but there's this thing coming in the way. And you kinda wonder how it could have been had not this stood in the way of its greatness.

I was watching John Hagee Today and I liked what I saw but, here comes that BUT that got me writing this post. But I didn't like the healing segment of the show because it dented the perfect image I had of this powerful-insightful man of God. It's something if I had the means, I would have wanted it not to be included on the show though it's so significant to the gospel.

We want people to believe, witness and see King Jesus in action. Asifuni ukubalisa amabali. That time is long gone! (If it ever existed) Ain't no body got time for intsomi. People want to see a Jesus that backs-up His Word. And He can do that any day, any hour provided that we allow Him to be who He is.

My heart dropped shem when I watched the man of God dipping his hand in a bowl full of anointing oil. I didn't go as far as checking if he sells it but I bet my last cent he does. It's the most logical thing to do if you have started using it in your healing services.

In my hearts of hearts I wish men and women of God would shy away from unknowingly or knowingly leading the masses into sin.

We all know how the human race is wired. if they see a great man of God 'relying' on oil to deliver the sick they too will turn their eyes to the means to the end. Not the end itself.

People aren't only interested in what comes out of our mouths. They watch our every move to see if we don't deny King Jesus by our actions. Even in this century actions do speak louder than words, more so for the Godly generation.

The Word of God warns us of carelessness. Sometimes we are not aware of the implications of our actions. We refuse to see beyond that which is making sense now (monetarily) and probably will be meaningless tomorrow.

Anyway the man of God has got me thinking and that's a good thing bakithi. Whatever you are doing should evoke an emotion right?! And that doesn't mean you are seeking attention or you go out there thinking I want them to talk, heck let me be the reason they are talking. It just that what you do demands to be acknowledged, good or bad.

There are so many things we love and admire and kinda wish if only they would make things right with God the father. For us believers it always boils down to that. It's never about earthly desires. Little by little we outgrow them. Siyaphuma kuzo mbhem!

You certainly, don't want them to change who they are, the essence of their being and what they stand for.  You just want them to open their hearts to the King of Kings, to see the world God the father has predestined for them before the foundations of this world.

You have seen Him moving mountains in your life and you know for sure should they surrender all to He without sin, their lives would never be the same again without a doubt.

I love you but change your lifestyle. You are most powerful when you have King Jesus by your side. Best believe!

LOL! And unlike us sinners, Jesus loves you unconditionally. He loves YOU and YOU only does He love.

It's in our nature to have a long-list of things, we think a person should consider changing in their lives. We have a hard time accepting a person for who they are. There's always that but lurking somewhere.

One of my favorite verses in the book of Corinthians  says, "When perfection comes the imperfect disappears."

When Jesus has held firmly to the pillars of your heart, He changes you in ways you have not imagined. You won't even feel it that someone is 'working' on you.

He brings forth the best in YOU. Akakuthandi kuba... Ukuthanda noba...

Teach Us to Pray As John Also Taught His Disciples

I don't like generalizing, it's not who I am or what I'm about but I've come to notice that young people even the
believers do not like praying.

I don't know what keeps their relationship with Jesus going especially in these last days. You seriously need to stay prayed up hayi indab'odlala.

The minute you start saying, "guys I think we should be praying" you get weird looks. Not to mention when you say your prayers in public. Obviously we are nothing like the pharisees, we do it modestly but still get blank stares. It's like prayer is something we should be ashamed of. Why?

Why are we treating the only way of communicating with the heavens this wrongly. We have no other way of updating Jesus about our lives.

The coolest thing about prayer is it's not restricting. You don't have to be at a right place at a right time or wait till you are in that good mood.

You don't necessarily have to say the right things either. It's Jesus we are talking about here. He knows your innermost thoughts. He really can read you like a book. He is the author remember?!

Isn't it annoying when some tries so hard to impress you and you are looking at them thinking be your true self maan! 

Don't bore me with wanting to sound right all the time! I think Jesus has those moments too, this is my mind running wild bakithi forgive me.

Jesus' disciples were very noble in their walk with Him. They didn't live a lie and acted like they know everything including prayer. They had a desire to learn and that strengthened their relationship with God.

They asked the creator of the universe to connect them with God the father. They had witnessed the power of prayer and how it instantly changes lives. They weren't satisfied with King Jesus pleading with God the father on his own.

They too longed for that intimacy with God the father. The nicest thing in our days is that we don't need to go via someone. You are in a need of  prayer? Kneel down, it is that easy! All you need to do is humble yourself and Holy Ghost will intercede for you.

Jesus though the savior of all mankind prayed. He never said I've got this, God the father has shown me everything I needed to know therefore I shouldn't seek His counsel.

Oftentimes in the bible we read about Him withdrawing from His disciples and praying in seclusion. I mean He even had His favorite spot to pray in. He valued prayer more than anything else.

Apostle-Teacher-Prophet Gunya once said unlike His disciples Jesus spent more time praying than delivering people.

Prayer isn't as hard as we imagine it to be. You certainly don't need to quote all the bible verses you know. Though it wouldn't hurt reminding Jesus of His word. That grows you.

I believe the only thing expected of us by King Jesus when we are saying our prayers is honesty and humility. He knows everything else and He sure isn't testing us but strengthening our level of faith.

What has helped me the most in this holy walk is being myself in everything that I do, be it prayer or just serving the Lord.

I don't fancy sounding like my pastor or steal someone's words when praying. As I am I approach the throne of grace with confidence. Like Samuel's mom, Hanna, I just pour my heart out to Jesus like I know how.

And you feel lighter after praying because prayer is a form of therapy. It leaves you feeling content.

If happeningly you still carry a lot of anger in your heart even if like Daniel you pray three times a day then change the way you pray. Simple like that!

I must say not every time we pray Jesus will answer quick quick but do rest your heart, it may take Him a week, months or even years but eventually He will answer.

Most of the time He won't give us the answer we are yearning for. We can cry a river or try twisting His arm, His yes is Yes and No a NO. He doesn't have a maybe and certainly He won't go against His Word.

If we are being honest we sometimes ask a hell lot of unreasonable things. So my Jesus has to sifts through all that mess. But don't stress He'll never leave you hanging NEVER!

I'm a secretive person naturally although I don't have anything to hide. I tend to bottle things up. I struggle with sharing my feelings with people.

But when I'm alone with my Jesus man! I'm a totally a different person. I think what makes everything so easy is knowing that Jesus sees me for who I am because He created me. So I don't need to put a stellar performance for Him. He loves me as I am!

If you are having troubles with having effective prayers start with the Lord's Prayer. Don't rush it, listen to every word. I love the LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION part. It always makes me think. You
might realize you have your favorite part too. #StayPrayedUp

My Ten Year Holy Walk With Jesus

I'm a girly-girl and being a professing Christian didn't change that. I unashamedly count the years I have walked with Jesus.

Our anniversary is the biggest thing in my life because it's quite a mile stone. 

He has always been part of my life and I only realized that in 2006. My eyes were opened. I could then see the big bad world for what it is.  

So much has happened in this short space of time. So many things were said both good and bad. I have heard it all.  

If I could build a house from all the insults I have received along the way I would legit be staying at a lavish house by the sea somewhere in Amerika mntakadokrwala. 

It's common knowledge if u want to go somewhere in life DO NOT pay any attention to naysayers. And this holy walk is no different. 

If you thought you being saved meant people were going to roll out a red carpet each time they see you chitha utyiwe. Or you will have this beautiful understanding and connection with people dream on. 

You know once you start sharing your faith people tend to have these ideas about your life. Your life is no longer yours to live.  

They have a box ready to shove you in. They know how you should carry yourself. Who you should be seen with and how you must miraculously be there for them when they need you. 

Your life is generally under a microscope. One wrong move and you have people coming to your face telling you I told you so. 

I remember this one child from boarding school testifying and saying if you want "to be like' a celebrity, accept Jesus as your personal savior. And you will see flames.  

I guess it's so hard to believe that a person in this day and age can truly surrender their life to Jesus. And dedicate their life to the author and finisher of our faith. 

Anyway the reason I wanted to write this post is to share my faith, experiences, my ups and downs . And hopefully strengthen new believers who have just discovered this holy sacred path. 

I vividly remember the days counting to the day I got saved. I was this loud, tjatjarag and outspoken child. Certainly not the type you'd imagine getting saved but as the Word says Jesus shows no favoritism. 

I didn't know how to pray or read the bible not to mention fasting. Me, I love food shem though I'm a picky eater.

Jesus came at a time I needed Him the most. My soul longed for freedom. I was spiritually bound. I couldn't move. Had to dance to the tune of demons that wanted to claim my life. I was so close to losing my mind. 

But Jesus came down and lifted me up from the deep muddy clay... As the song says. 

Believe me when I say I was just not the 'right candidate' for salvation. My life was a mess stru. 

Even when I finally got saved I had a hard time accepting biblical teachings and practicing them. 

I questioned everything. One thing that come to mind now is the Ncandweni Christ Ambassadors song that was popular at the time. I don't remember the title but yayisithi ugqoke njani ngobu yazi isono samadoda sivela ngokubona. 

I was a young feminist then. You couldn't tell me anything, I deemed anti women. I love love women and yes #NoHomo. So I just didn't understand why women had to watch the way they dress and behave around the opposite sex. My question was can't men control themselves?!

Why are they gonna make their problems mine heh? Tyhini why am I carrying their cross. 

One thing worth mentioning too is when I finally stopped wearing pants. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with wearing pants. 

Likewise I had a tight argument as to why women should freely wear their pants. Deuteronomy 22:5 was not gonna tell me otherwise. Like other scriptures I would interpret that passage the way it suit my personal needs. 

Attending a church where women uniformly do not wear pants was not gonna change my stance in this too. I'm not that person who gets to a new place and find people dancing and join in. I watch admirably from a distance. In my good, old time when I feel comfortable, I will join in and dance like no one's business.    

So It was in 2011 and I was doing my first year in Pentech. I normally prepare my outfits a day before. Nothing changed that day. I had taken out what I was gonna wear in tech, my torn capri jean, yellow woven jersey and black shoes. I was set for the day. 

Now the Holy Spirit told me to change my outfit and wear a skirt. I obliged because I could differentiate His voice from my thoughts. 

Went to Tech. Had a great time. On my way back because I was using metrorail as a mode of transport. And there believers share the Word of God without any hindrances. 

So I got in a carriage and a brother was preaching a powerful, powerful sermon that touched me so much that I ended up speaking in tongues. Something that wasn't new but kuloliwe? Cabanga!

All eyes were on me and I started prophesying and the brother shame was so stunned. He never saw that coming. Neither did I. 

From that day onwards I stopped wearing pants. I just knew they were not good for me and what Jesus has put in my heart. 

People can be so judgmental and I know for a fact should I have spoken in tongues and prophesied wearing my torn capri jean where you could see my thighs was not gonna end well.  

They were gonna make mockery out of the situation but instead they were so alarmed.   

I have so many stories to share with you about this journey. Maybe I will one day God-willing write a part two.   

But since I'm at it let me share one more story. A recent one.  

I have been attending morning devotions. As you already know there's lot of kneeling and praying happening in such gatherings.

I noticed my knees were starting to become darker and I thought even the maid in Manhattan looks so much better than me,  of-course Jennifer Lopez is dead gorgeous what was I thinking comparing myself to a pop star lol.

Anyway the Holy Spirit brought it to my attention that I haven't fully given my life to Jesus as I often claim because I still cared about how my knees look like. 

I still have parts of me that I'm holding back. I haven't released the need of wanting to be in control of things. In a way I have hindered the Holy Spirit from doing the job God appointed Him to do in my life. 

I still have so much to learn and see. I know ten years is nothing to most people but to me it has been life-changing. 

I am now a better human being and with the help of the holy spirit I'm constantly improving. 

I am not gonna lie to you and say it has been smooth sailing from day one. Some days have been better than others. But what makes it so worth it is King Jesus my savior. 

I have grown so much and I thank God for each and everything I went through. He was making sure that He chisels all the rough edges futhi ndingabinjengo-Ephraim, ndibhakeke icala elinye. 

I even noticed I write so much better when I'm under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost. Jesus for Lungelwa lol Lungelwa for Jesus.