It will come as no surprise then that I don't forget people's birthday and it makes perfect sense that I make a big hoo-haa about mine.
I was born on the 29th of December 1989. It was on a Friday! I was conceived in Cape Town but born in Mdantsane (Nomaphelo's maternal home).
We all know what birthdays are for and the meaning behind it all so I won't bore you with the Oxford definition. Mine are a day of gratitude. I am most thankful to the Lord. It's a time for introspection. I look back where I've been, the hurdles I faced, the mountains I've climbed and of course I celebrate the life I've lived.
I have never thought I'd be where I am when the day finally comes for me to celebrate my crown birthday. I had dreams, big dreams! I can tell you now that none of them have been realised. I have experienced delay upon delay but I'm grateful for one thing though that my pure heart hasn't been tainted. And I ain't bitter! I am still able to applaud those who have made it without forcing a smile and a fake congrats. And there are those people whose success feels like yours. When they make it you cheer for them the loudest because it feels like you've made it too, their achievements do not evoke jealousy or self-pity.
I have grown so much. I am absolutely not the person I was when I turned twenty-one *rolls eyes.* I now see life for what it is and I take it one day at a time. I'm not in any rush. I want to be present in every moment. I don't want life to pass me by.
What makes me walk with my big head held up high is knowing I stayed true to myself. I fought the good fight. I have never lowered my standards for anything or anyone and that comes with maturity. Compromsing is not a language I'm fluent in! I love people wholeheartedly but I have my boundaries.
I am still that kindhearted, selfless and God fearing young lady I was when I accepted King Jesus as my Lord and personal Saviour at the tender age of seventeen. A stage of confusion and self-realisation for most teenagers. I had chosen to walk with God and that's the best decision I've ever made. No regrets at all!
Over the years though I have become soft too soft for my liking. I bruise easily. I get emotional over small things like a bird getting knocked over by a car. I don't lie to myself. I like what I like and I ain't ashamed to tell the whole world. I may not go after it though! Never make the mistake of following your heart it will lead you astray! Iyalwatyuza intliziyo mbhem!
I live my truth. Good gracious God! I'm not the type that gets bullied. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I speak my mind like nobody's business. It's not my fault that I have a strong personality. And it doesn't help that I have this new found freedom of being authentically me! I don't make excuses for my behavior nor do I explain myself to anyone. I don't make an effort of changing a person's preconceived ideas of the person they think I am. When the time is right they'll know me and hopefully it won't be too late.
So many things tried to break my spirit. But ke mtram ndinguLungelwa kayi-one! Angibenywa angisiyinsangu lol. I geared myself for any fight that came my way to destabilise me. I was never fixated on winning but rather on letting the person know that I ain't a push-over! I stand my ground especially when I know I'm right. I'd wear my highest pair of heels and let lucifa's toenail know that la ufike e-park station.
I pride myself on being truthful and standing up for the truth. I've never in all 28 years of living in God's green earth have I turned a blind eye to wrongdoing. My conscience won't allow me even if I try.
What makes me sleep like a newborn baby at night is knowing that I've never under any circumstances have I sold my birth right. Hunger of any kind has not controlled me.
I am not ashamed of the mistakes I have made along the way. I wouldn't be the person I've become if I did everything by the book all the time. Failure is the greatest teacher so they say and I have allowed myself to fail and accept it. I don't stress myself with things I can't change. Ndingabitya ndibengumcinga.
My love for King Jesus hasn't waned off nor has it changed! It keeps getting stronger and stronger. I love Him. He loves me. It's simple like that. The more He adds a year to my life the more I grow into knowing Him. He amazes me every blessed day.
Do I have any note to my younger self? Of course I do. Trust God. It may not be clear now where He's taking you but you'll get there at the appointed time. Igama lakho nguLungelwa. Follow it and unlock the secret behind it. It's not just for you but for those who come after you. Stay strong and never look back. You are loved!
